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The Secret Diaries of Viktor Orbán

Monday 1 July 2013

Since Fidesz won the general election in 2010, we have used our two thirds majority to consolidate my power, and to crush any opposition to me. All independent minded journalists have been sacked from the state controlled news agency, MTI, which ensures that the majority of Hungarians will only hear the good news. The head of the judiciary is a family friend – she has considerable powers, such as deciding which cases can be heard in which courts, to make sure we get the right result. All "independent committees" have been filled with Fidesz members for a period of 9 years. All civil servants who worked for the previous regime in any managerial capacity have been fired. The constitutional court has been stripped of most of its powers. Theatre directors with the wrong political leanings have been sacked. And so on.

I have used my power to enrich my friends. Many have won tenders to lease agricultural land from the state at ridiculously low rents, while local farmers have lost out on such deals. We have reduced the number of shops licensed to sell tobacco from 40,000 to 5,500. Licenses are only given to those who can prove that they are loyal party members. We will introduce similar schemes for pharmaceuticals and liquor in the near future.

I am turning Hungary into a one party state again, just like it was before 1989. People think I was opposed to the communist system because I believe in freedom. That is wrong. I was against the communist system because it was imposed by a foreign body. I am all in favour of a totalitarian dictatorship, provided that the dictator is Hungarian, and preferably me.

But now all my good work is at risk. The European Union are sticking their noses into our business, saying that our laws go against the spirit of the treaties that we signed when we joined the E.U. A Portuguese member of the European Parliament, Ruis Tavares was commissioned to write a report on the situation in Hungary. Without going into the details, his report recommends that we should be made to change many of our laws back, such as those that stripped the constitutional court of many of its powers. Our election should be monitored. It also recommends much closer monitoring of Hungary's new laws, and threatens to take away Hungary's power to vote in E.U. issues if we do not comply.

So having eroded all opposition to my powers at home, I now face foreign road blocks. But I will not accept these – oh no. I want absolute power, and I won't let anyone or anything get in my way!

Tuesday 2 July 2013

After a meeting with my new friend, Robert Fico of Slovakia, I flew to Strasbourg to attend the European Parliament debate on the Tavares Report. I am hoping that I will be able to get the support of our partners, the European Peoples party and the other conservatives, so they will vote against the report. There are 275 members of the European Peoples Party and probably another 100 or so conservatives and Eurosceptic members, so we should be able to get 351 people to vote against the report.

During my address to the Parliament, I was quite civil. I told them that I totally respect the European Parliament. I could not discuss the substance of the report, because frankly it is totally correct. So instead I talked about how we Hungarians stood up for freedom in 1956, and about how we are now the most economically successful country in the union, so we should not be punished by having our freedom taken away by the recommendations of this report. Totally irrelevant to the discussion of course, but hopefully it will convince those foreign conservatives that I am a really reasonable guy, and would never dream of taking away the democratic rights of my citizens.

The vote is tomorrow. Hopefully I may have swung it!

Wednesday 3 July 2013

The results of the vote came in today. Shit! 370 supported the Tavares report, 249 voted against and 82 abstained. So that means that even some members of the European Peoples Party did not vote against the report. Traitors! I thought I was popular in EPP circles.

I was so angry that I made a statement in which I accused the European Parliament of being controlled by the banks and other big business interests that our government has harmed. Total nonsense of course – most of those lefties who voted in favour of the report hate big business as much as I do. But the badly informed Hungarians who vote for me don't know that.

Friday 5 July 2013

Today Parliament passed a resolution condemning the decision of the European Parliament to support the Taveres Report.

My favourite part of the resolution is the following:

"The Parliament of Hungary is surprised that the European Parliament passed a decree that it had no right to pass, which exceeded its jurisdiction. The European Parliament made demands, introduced new procedures, and created institutions that violate Hungary's sovereignty as guaranteed in the fundamental treaty.

With this decision the European Parliament went against basic European values and led the Union on a dangerous path.

The Hungarian Parliament is further worried by the undue influence of business interests that underlie this abuse of power."

So where will this lead? Hopefully there will be pressure from the Hungarian people for us to leave this awful union and become an independent nation again. And we can pull out of the E.U.

Financially that would be a disaster for our country.

But at last I would have absolute power!

FreeHungary; July 7. 2013.

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