The Secret Diaries of Viktor Orbán

Thursday 2 May 2013

I was looking forwards to a bit of good PR today. I held a joint press conference with Budapest City Mayor, Istvan Tarlos, to celebrate the new Mercedes busses that we have bought for the city. I was expecting some good headlines, such as "Vick gives Mercedes ride to the masses!" or some other such corny headline.

Instead, it turns out that I managed to screw that up. After the press conference, Istvan and I travelled on one of the busses, up Andrassy avenue. During the journey we passed the Ballet institute. Istvan told me that it is owned by some foreigners. There is nothing he can do. "I'll change the law!" I told him, "just tell me what you want the law to say and I will write it." What I did not know is that there was a journalist recording this.

So now the papers are full of stories about the Viktator ruling by decree. Of course I rule by decree, everyone knows that parliament is just a rubber stamp these days. But it was a bit embarrassing to be caught so brazenly admitting this.

Friday 3 May 2013

They say tobacco is a hazard to your health. They didn't say that it couldbe a hazard to your chances of winning an election.

We hatched a plan to reward loyal Fidesz supporters, wherby tobacco products can only be sold through authorized retailers. Applicants have to apply to run an authorized tobacco shop, and provided that they can prove that they have done good service to the party, they get the franchise.

Sadly this is going down badly. The electorate are none too impressed that many family businesses, who have been retailing tobacco for ages have not won franchises because they are not party members.

So we had to retreat today, and I told my radio listeners that such commies can still retain their shops!

Sunday 5 May 2013

Today the World Jewish Congress started in Budapest. It gave me the opportunity to display my new "tolerance" credentials, as I gave an address to the conference. I told them that there is no room for prejudice against the Jews, or any other foreigners that live in Hungary.

I was a bit surprised therefore to learn that the Congress leaders were critical of my speech. What did I say wrong?

Friday 10 May 2013

Economics minister Mihaly Varga has had to announce further austerity measures, (although we don't use that word in public – anyone who says the "a" word gets fined!). It's necessary to keep those bean counters in Brussels happy. I would tell them where to stick their "excessive deficit procedures" but if I did, they would extract revenge some other way.

I told Varga to make whatever measures are necessary, but to keep his hands off the funding for my stadium in Felcsut!

FreeHungary; May 15. 2013.