The Secret Diaries of Viktor Orbán

Friday 29th March 2013

Today we celebrated the twenty fifth birthday of the founding of our great and noble party. (The actual birthday is tomorrow, but we heard that there is going to be a demonstration outside of the party headquarters tomorrow, so we celebrated today).

I started Fidesz (the young democrats) because the liberal party at the time would not allow offer me any position, so I started my own liberal party. Things have changed a lot since then. We are not as young as we were, of course. We changed from being liberal to being conservative when we saw a gap in the market in 1993, when the Hungarian conservative party (the MDF) was losing popularity. But the best thing is, that liberal party died in the 2010 elections! Revenge is sweet.

It's amazing how powerful we founders of Fidesz have become. Lajos Simicska is a successful businessman, admittedly helped by the fact that we pass a huge number of public projects his way; Zsolt Bayer is a writer whose name is known across Europe for his hate speech; and of course myself as Prime Minister, and Laci Kövér, speaker of the parliament. I wonder how we would have felt back then, if we could have seen how we are today.

Fidesz does not really have any strong ideological or political beliefs. Ask us "what are your opinions on this?" we will reply, "What do you want them to be?" We've discovered that the secret of power is to pander to the desires of the masses. They want lower power prices- we give them lower power prices. They want lower taxes, we give them lower taxes. They want us to punish multi nationals, we punish multi nationals. Who cares about the long-term effects?

The birthday party itself was a low-key affair. It was nice to meet some of the old gang again. I had a good chat with Zsolt Bayer. I apologised for the fact that deputy prime minister, Tibor Navracsics, had to condemn his hate speech publicly, but he understands well enough that the government of an EU country sometimes has to say things in public that it does not necessarily believe.

Saturday 30th March 2013

As expected, a demonstration outside of Fidesz headquarters. They managed to attract almost 1,000 supporters. We left a banner outside the office wishing them a Happy Easter! How polite of us. Naturally the police have photographs of all the attendees and we will be arresting them over the next few weeks.

Sunday 31st March 2013

We've already started our election campaign. Today and tomorrow a whole load of posters will be plastered across the billboards of the country trumpeting our successes. "Pensions up!" "EU Money Up!" "3,500 more policemen". The best news is that we are treating this as a government information campaign, so the taxpayer pays for it! Marvellous.

Monday 1 April

Today the new constitution was published. So "April Fool" to all those voters who thought that a vote for Fidesz was a vote for a prosperous and free country. The revolution at the ballot box was a return to dictatorship! And the constitution, which gives us absolute power, is now law.

Tuesday 2 April

Great news. An opinion poll puts Fidesz support up at 27%. Even if MszP, Bajnai and DK could present a united front, between them they would get only 24%. Our moves to cut utility prices are clearly bearing fruit. The election is almost in the bag!

FreeHungary; April 4. 2013.