The Secret Diairies of Viktor Orbán: Ruler Supreme of the Nation of Hungary

Wednesday 6 March 2013

On Monday, Parliament will pass the fourth amendment to the constitution. This is what I have sent to parliament for them to agree to:

1. We don't recognise gay marriage or unmarried couples as families, so they won't get any family allowance. A bit old fashioned I admit, but we have to keep our partners, the Christian Democrats happy.

2. The state only recognises certain religious institutions as churches.

3. The Hungarian Socialist Party (MszP) and the Democratic Coalition (DK) as successors to the Hungarian Communist party can be found guilty for any crimes committed by the communist party. So by the time of the next election, all opposition politicians will be in prison.

4. This is the best part. The constitutional court no longer has the right to challenge any laws on the basis that they are unconstitutional. So now we can pass any law we want. We of course being me, as I know that those sheep that we call Fidesz members of parliament would never question law I write.

Soon I will have absolute power. Parliament is just a rubber stamp. The constitutional court and the president will have no teeth. I control the media and the central bank. The revolution at the ballot box will be complete!

Thursday 7 March 2013

Travelled to Warsaw today, to attend a meeting of the Visegrád 4 countries (Poland, Hungary, the Czech Republic and Slovakia). We were also joined by Angela Merkel of Germany, and François Hollande of France.

On the flight over, I read the financial times. I was pleased to see that the amendments to the constitution are the subject of a leading article. The newspaper said that E.U. should sanction Hungary, cutting off subsidies until we comply with European norms. Well as Oscar Widle once said, there's only one thing worse than being talked about. And that is not being talked about!

While I was in Warsaw, I missed a demonstration against the constitutional amendments that took place at our old party headquarters. Some rather intelligent young people turned up, shouting slogans: "Democracy, constitution, rule of law." That was exactly what we used to demand in the late 1980s, when we were idealists before we became corrupted by power and greed.

The Fidesz staff handled this demonstration admirably, turning what could have been a rather damaging incident into a PR coup d'etat. They waited until the TV cameras arrived; then the charming Gabriella Selmeczi went out to meet the crowd, looking very relaxed, and offered them some cakes that she had just pinched from Tesco. Then another press officer read out a statement, accusing Bajnai of organizing the demonstration. He made a statement in which he said "If Gordon Bajnai had let us know in advance, then we would have allowed his people into the Fidesz headquarters without hesitation. We regard everyone's opinion as important and listen."

This was all aired on the evening's news. Brilliant!

Once the cameras had gone, Fidesz staff told the police that they were no longer needed. Then they called the Ferencváros hooligans over to defend our property.

We used the services of the Ferencváros hooligans quite a lot in 2006 in the wake of Gyurcsány's "I fucking lied to win the election" speech, when we wanted to create civil unrest in the city. We paid them to attack the TV station to try to stir up a revolution. They have agreed to work for us again, putting down any demonstrations that occur between now and the election.

Friday 8 March

As expected the deluge of foreign concern over our constitution has arrived. José Manuel Barosso, head of the European Commission called me to express his concern about the undemocratic nature of our amendments. I find such criticism a little rich, coming from a man who was not actually elected, but I assured him (as usual) that if our law is found to contradict European norms then we will amend it.

I welcome this foreign interference. Nothing angers Hungarians more than having foreign organisations trying to interfere in our countries business. They will be so angry about that that they will be pleased to allow me to snatch power, just because I am Hungarian, and am going against the foreigners.

Monday 11 March

The fourth amendment has been passed by the sheep!! What total idiots they are! Do they have no brains? Do they have no guts? I'm pleased to say that they do not.

My opponent Ferenc Gyurcsány summarized the situation best when he said "Democracy is dead!" Too bloody right it is.

Source: FreeHungary; March 13. 2013.