The secret diaries of Viktor Orbán

Friday 30th November

No economic news is good news. Unlike last week when we had a barrage of data. I was able to use my weekly radio "interview" to spread propaganda about the new Hungarian economic model.

The fact that we can't afford to scrap the bank tax, for example, which was supposed to be a temporary measure. Rather than admit that we can't really afford to pay for the tax cuts because we have not managed to achieve any efficiencies, I told the public that it is all part of a plan. We will continue to tax those foreign investors who have a monopoly position in areas such as banks and utilities.

Sunday 2 December

I watched the X factor last night and admit I rather enjoyed it. When I went to bed, I had a really odd dream. I dreamed that I was participating in an X factor type competition to be the Prime Minister. It was the end of the show, and the mentors had to decide whether I should stay on as Prime Minister for another week, or stand down in place of Bajnai:

Mentor 1: "I like the way you stand up for the Sovereignty of Hungary against the interfering bureaucrats from Brussels Viktor. But I sometimes think you could be a little less abrasive when dealing with them. A good assertive leader can get his point accords without resulting to insults, so I think you need to work on that. But I say stay!"

Mentor 2: "Viktor, I have to be honest. That was awful. You are wrecking the economy. OK, to be fair, you are managing to keep the deficit to below 3%, just. But you have only really achieved this by stealing pensions and taxing multinationals. Foreign investment in our country is falling, and this will really affect economic growth in the future. So sorry to say this, but you should go home Viktor!"

Mentor 3: "My problem Viktor is that I just don't know what you stand for. One day you tell us that you won't let Hungary be bullied by the E.U. The next day you tell the E.U. that you will change the laws in any way they want. One minute you say that you want the government to have a partnership with foreign investors. The next day you introduce a new range of taxes which only applies to foreign owned companies. One minute you are making school children read books written by fascists, the next you are saying that there is no place for prejudice in Hungary. I think you need to work out what your government stands for. That's why I say Viktor, go home.

Mentor 4: "Viktor, a real leader is someone who looks after all his people. But you only act in the interests of your clan and are excessively spiteful to your political adversaries. I mean this recent poster campaign about Bajnai and Gyurcsany, what was the point of that? And that small radio station that you are determined to close just because they express opposition views. You'll never make a good Prime Minister, Viktor. Go home."

As I stood on the stage and heard this, I became very angry, and started to shout at the mentors.

"You fucking communists!" I shouted. "I will have this program taken off the air by the media council. And you will all be arrested!"

Suddenly I woke up, thank God! It had all been a dream. But it has got me thinking. Why would the mentors say that about me, even in a dream?

Sunday 3 December

A weird thing happened today. The opposition held a demonstration against anti-Semitism, in the wake of that awful speech made in Parliament last week. Then Antal Rogan, head of the Parliamentary party of Fidesz told them that he would like to attend, and make a speech. And he did! And they agreed with him.

Perhaps we can cooperate with the opposition sometimes! Perhaps I should take note of what the mentors told me in my dream.

FreeHungary; December 05. 2012.