The Secret Diaries of Viktor Orbán- aged 48 ¾

Wednesday 21 December 2011
I dropped into the meeting with the IMF and the EU about the loan guarantees.  I managed to get to the meeting  just  before Tibor brought in the tea and chocolate biscuits, so was extremely annoyed that Tamás  Fellegi nabbed all the biscuits before I had any.
During the break, I made small talk with the EU chief negotiator about the Christmas break. I told him that we still had a lot of work to do, what with the central bank law to get through Parliament. As I said this I saw Tamás urgently gesturing to me to “shut the fuck up”, but ignored him, as I was still angry about the biscuits.
After I’d outlined the main points of the Central Bank Law, the EU guy said “Sorry guys, you just can’t do that. Its contrary to EU regulations.”  Well, I don’t like foreigners telling me how to run my own country, and told him so. Suddenly he muttered “I’ve got better things to do than talk to these adolescents” picked up his coat and bag, and he and the IMF man left. Charming!

Friday 23 December 2011
What a laugh we had today in Parliament! Word was out about the IMF disapproving of our central bank law, so we passed it anyway. We had many laughs about the EU and IMF negotiators wanting to be home in time to see Santa.
To make matters even funnier, the LMP members chained themselves to the car park entrance to try to stop us getting into work to vote. Then Gyurcsány joined them. I had them arrested of course, and had hoped that they would spend Christmas in prison, but the police told me that the crime was not serious enough. I must change the law on that.
Well we have shown the world that I will not be bullied by the bureacrats.

Monday 26 December 2011
Woke up feeling a little fuzzy after the házi pálinka that I drank over Christmas. I decided it would be nice to take the family to Austria for a few days skiing. I popped into OTP to buy some Euros.
“What’s the exchange rate?” I asked the cashier.
“1 Euro is 320 forints” he replied.
I thought he was joking, but it soon became obvious that he was being serious. I got very angry with him, telling him that I was not some stupid tourist who could be ripped off, and demanded that he sell me Euros at the normal price- which I know is HUF 280, because that’s what I paid in the summer. He wouldn’t budge, so I decided to try another bank down the road- a foreign owned bank. But they told me I was persona non grata and would not let me in. So I gave up. We’ll stay in Hungary for the break.

Sunday 1 January 2011
Tried to call Merkel to wish her a Happy New Year, but was told she was washing her hair. I tried a few other EU leaders, but without luck. The Victor Yanukovics called me from Ukraine. He was very friendly, and told me that I was his favourite EU leader. He also said he admired the way that I was ruling my country, and to make sure that Gyurcsány was in prison before too long!

Monday 2 January 2011
We had Gala concert to celebrate the new constitution. Pál Schmitt managed to read the speech that Tibor had written for him without missing any lines this time. His reading is really coming on.
As we were about to leave, I was told by the bodyguards that we would have to leave the Opera house through a side entrance, as there was a large crowd gathered outside in Andrassy. I’m not sure why- perhaps they were waiting for the winter sales to start in the Apple store. I wanted to go and greet the crowd as I know how much the people love me, but the bodyguard thought it might not be a good idea.

Friday 6 January
Tamás came to see me today. He seemed very nervous.
“If we don’t get this standby loan from the IMF, then we will be bankrupt!” he told me bluntly.
“OK- then let’s get the loan!” I replied. I sometimes think Tamás looks for problems that are not there.
“Yeah, but with this Central Bank Law, they won’t negotiate. We’ve got to change it!” he said.
“Fine!” I replied. “Tell them that we will change whatever they want.”
Tamás looked at me as if I were mad.
“You sure about that PM?” he said.
“Of course I am!”
He suddenly seemed very relaxed, so we called Tibor and asked him to bring in some coffee and biscuits! And this time I did not let him nab all the chocolate ones.
Let it never be said that the government of Hungary is unreasonable!

FreeHungary; January 10. 2012.

Last Updated on Friday, 30 August 2013 09:11