Tuesday 15 May

The fight against Klubrádió continues. This is the only radio station that criticises my democratically elected government, and having such a station really undermines democracy. We tried to remove the station’s licence earlier in the year, but they took us to court, and the court overturned our decision.

So now I am changing the law. I’ve written a new law, in which I have redefined the station as a commercial rather than a public service radio station. They will have to pay a much higher annual fee for this. I wrote the law, and then gave it to a member of parliament, and asked her to present it as a private members bill. Watch this space! There is no doubt that it will be passed, because we hold a majority of seats in the Parliament. We can do what we like.

Wednesday 16 May

I could f**king kill Gyrucsány! He’s contacted the EU anti-fraud office and suggested that they investigate the company owned by my school friend Lajos Simicska. The company in question, Közgép has won public tender contracts worth HUF 300 billion since we came to power. Well of course, when you are in power, you give your friends a helping hand.

Thursday 17 May

With less than two years to go to the next general election, our popularity in the polls is diminishing. If there were an election tomorrow, 54% of Hungarians wouldn’t bother to vote. 16% would vote for us, but the socialists are catching up and would receive 13% of the vote.  So we could actually lose the next election if the opposition parties form a coalition.

So we’ve decided to take further action. Under a new plan discussed today at the Fidesz council, we have decided to scrap public funding of political parties. Parties will have to raise money from their supporters. Well we have a lot of very rich supporters, people who have become very rich over the last two years. I’m sure they would not want to risk a new government coming in and investigating our back room deals, so we can be sure of getting plenty of funds.

Who says that Orbán Viktor doesn’t believe in free market economics?

Friday 18 May

The economic situation is looking better by the day. Henkel has announced that it will create 200 new jobs in Tatabanya, Opel has also planned to expand its production producing another 200 jobs at its factory in Szentgotthárd. That’s 400 new jobs! Not to mention the 1,600 jobs created at the Kecskemet factory. I shouldn’t really take credit for the jobs at the Kecskement factory, as they started building it when Gyurcsány was Prime Minister, but I will. At this rate, we will soon hit our target of 1 million new jobs!

Monday 21 May

In Chicago for the Nato Summit. I sat next to a very nice Greek man – not sure who he is, as Greece don’t actually have a government at the moment. As we were waiting for the meeting to start, some smart ass walked passed us and shouted “Hungary sitting next to Greece – how appropriate!”

Freehungary; May 23. 2012