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The Secret Diaries of Viktor Orbán- aged 48 ¾

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Monday 23 April
I’m back in Brussels, doing my charm offensive to the heads of the European Commission so they will start to consider lending us some more money. I may tell the Hungarian people that Hungary won’t be dictated to by Europe, but when I am here I am all charm.
Hungary really needs the cash: we have two new football stadiums to build, and lots of new street signs to print now that we have changed the names of them all. We will have to wait a little longer to resurface the roads, but as most of my friends now drive four by fours that’s not a big problem.

Tuesday 24 April
I had my much awaited meeting with José Manuel Barosso, head of the European Commission. I had expected a long a fruitful discussion, so was a little surprised that José seemed to have forgotten that I was coming.
“So what can I do for you Viktor?” he asked, when I was shown into his office.
“Well I wanted to discuss our loan negotiations.”
“Ah yes!” he replied, seeming a little disinterested. “Have you amended those laws we talked about?”
“Yes we have” I lied.
“Great. Then there is no reason why we can’t start the loan negotiations. We’ll have to check that your laws are compliant, but if they are, then negotiations will begin.”
“Excellent.”
“OK, well I’m a little busy now Viktor, so if you will excuse me!”
And with that I was ushered out of his office. Rude man!

Wednesday 25 April
The E.U. announced that they will re-start negotiations with Hungary. They still have reservations about our decision to sack all left wing judges, but have agreed that that can be decided by the European Court of Justice. Let’s hope we get a right wing judge.
The markets responded warmly. The forint is back up to 275 to the Euro. At this rate we will have enough money not only for two new football stadiums, but for some useful players too. We might be able to persuade Adam Bogdan to play for Felcsút instead of Bolton Wanders!

Saturday 28 April
Yes, yes yes!
We may finally have Gyurcsány’s head on a plate!
Hír TV ran a feature tonight in which they claimed that he copied his thesis from his ex-brother in law. I called the editor to ask if the story is true.
“Not sure if it’s strictly true or not Prime Minister!” he replied. “But since the University can’t find either Gyurcsány’s thesis or his brother in laws, who can prove us wrong!”
“The University can’t find them?”
“We have friends in the University!” he replied, and would not say more.
It sounds very dodgy to me, so I’d better stay out of this. But I shall enjoy watching the story unfold!
Gyurcsány is the only serious opposition politician. If anyone can make a political comeback, it is him. So he must be stopped.

Freehungary; May 02. 2012.

 

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